Maybe you said something stupid. Or you did something that was really dumb. Now you and your significant other have broken up. So what’s the best way to get your ex back?
Seriously re-examine what led to the break up. Very often a small incident is blown so out of proportion it’s difficult to see how ridiculous it was. Examine the events that led to the break up. Define the exact word or action that ignited the situation. Once you’ve got some perspective, you might start thinking about approaching your ex to discuss what happened.
Don’t stalk. This will only make matters worse. Don’t call and leave endless messages on their voice mail. The same goes with texting or emailing. If they’re not responding, they’re not ready to talk to you. Physically following your ex around is basically spying, and it’s disturbing behavior. Carried to extremes, your ex could feel threatened enough to call the authorities. Once that happens, any chance of getting back together is likely finished. Stalking is definitely not the best way to get your ex back.
- Forget about begging, pleading, or acting desperate. This sort of behavior only makes you look weak, and that’s unattractive. Sometimes affecting a cool demeanor is best. Don’t seem so anxious to get them back. That could pique their curiosity.
- If your ex starts seeing someone else, deal with it. Don’t freak out. Don’t confront the new boyfriend/girlfriend. Go ahead and wish them well. This ties in with affecting an air of indifference. But in this case act like you’re genuinely happy for them (even if you’re not). Most rebound relationships don’t last long anyway, so you can afford to bide your time.
- These are just suggestions, of course. Only you know which approach might work best in your situation. Sometimes the best way to get your ex back lies in coming up with your own solution.
Before you start dating again, get some dating advice on how to make a good impression.
Bring Your Ex Back
If you feel like ending a relationship was a mistake, then there are some things you have to look at before trying the bring ex back strategies. Sometimes a couple can’t stay away from each other. They break up, then after a time, start to miss each other and miss the good times. The bad times fade into the background; but there are some important reasons why relationships break up. The bad times reveal important clues as to whether the relationship can be rekindled, and if it’s worth it to bring ex back into your life.
It’s a great idea to sit down first and write a pro and con list about the relationship. This is the best way to get clear on what went wrong and if reconciliation is possible. Examine the con side of the list and decide if it includes any personal deal breakers for you. Substance abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse and infidelity are all red flags that a relationship won’t survive unless both parties are willing to get help and counseling. Without willingness on both sides, a reunion won’t have a good chance. Also examine what part you played in the break-up. If you possess some personal qualities that lead to the break-up, it’s time to get honest about what inner changes you can make to improve your chances with your ex.
If, after doing all of these things and some honest soul searching, you decide that you really did lose the love of your life and it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Then it’s time to act. Send a letter by snail mail, not a text or email. A well-written, heartfelt letter describing what you miss about the person and how you would like a chance to make things better, can go a long way towards reigniting an old flame.